Week 8 – Dear Younger Self

Week 8 – Dear Younger Self

Dear Younger Self

Many years from now, you are going to look back on the life you have lived and wonder where it all went pear-shaped. You will ask the million-dollar question: What is my purpose? And you will have wasted away hours upon hours, trying to find your purpose, whilst still trying to keep those around you happy. You need to stop. Stop living your life, making other people happy and being miserable yourself. No-one is responsible for your happiness. Only you can decide for yourself to be happy and to work towards your own happiness. True happiness will not come from the butterflies you have in your tummy on first dates. It will not come from moving to greener pastures. It will not come from pursuing your dreams, while those around you don’t support those dreams. It will not come from the amount of money you earn or your social status.

Having said all that: You CAN be happy. You will find happiness in the smallest places: in watching a flower bloom; in the smile on your best friends’ face when you baked her favourite cupcakes; your first flight; the first sight of snow; ringing in the new year with friends and alcohol. You and only you can make you happy. Don’t depend on anyone for that. You will almost always be disappointed.

It’s good to live life now. Don’t wait until you have more money, or you have someone to share this life with. Just go out there and live each moment as if it were your last. Go bungy-jumping, shark-cage diving or paragliding. There will come a time in your life when you meet someone who will take that energy you have at 16, and they will suck it out of you and you will never get it back again. And you will no longer take risks or be spontaneous. So now, at 16 is the time to live life to the fullest!

Go study further! Yes, you grew up hearing that education doesn’t mean anything, when your only goal should be to get to Heaven (not the smartest thing to tell a kid, but hey – we move on). In this world we live in and the places you will go, a good education can mean the difference between depending on others for survival or living the dream you always wanted. There will come a time when even a prospective significant other expects you to hold a degree so that you both can ride the corporate ladder to success, and he will not settle for you being part of the ‘help’ as it were. But remember, furthering your education is NOT for that man, but more for you to tell him that you deserve better anyway.

Speaking of which: you DO deserve better. No matter what anyway tells you. No matter your past and what you have had to go through as a child and teenager: You are more than enough and you deserve better. Don’t settle for less. Life is going to throw you lemons and curve-balls. Use those lemons and have a Tequila-Party. Use those curve-balls and keep your butt in shape. The lessons you learn now at 16 and going forward, they are the stepping stones to your independence. You will have many many more life lessons. Whether you learn from them or not, will be completely up to you – and that is the key point: they are YOUR lessons to learn from.

Get your Driver’s License. And get it now! If you wait too long, you will certainly get the thing, but will hate driving. Yes, a bus can get you from A to B, but that’s usually on a schedule, that many times aren’t reliable. A car will get you from A to Z and everything in between, any time of day (as long as you have the money for gas).

Go fall in love. And then fall in love again. And again. And again. For to know true love is to have experienced proper heartbreak, not puppy-love and school-kid breakups. And for Pete’s sake, don’t settle for the first boy / man who says the 3 words – speaking of those: don’t you be the first to say them either!

Invest in more shoes! A girl should never have to feel the rain seep through her boots and socks. And she should always have a pair of shoes for EVERY occasion and never have to borrow – another note, none of your friends will wear your shoe size.

Forget about greener pastures. I don’t say: don’t go traveling. I mean: don’t go traveling, expecting life to be better on the other side. The grass is only greener on the side that gets watered! You will find yourself in many places and you will call a fair few of them “home”. But you will only be happy in them, if you stay positive and allow the environment to sort of take effect on you. Don’t try to live the life of some character you read about in a romance novel or saw in a movie.

Keep writing! It is what got you through your childhood pain; it is what got you through the many physical, mental, emotional and psychological adolescent changes; and you will need it to get through this thing called ‘life’. You need your writing, like I currently need my coffee!

Lastly, and this is probably the most important: Lower your expectations of people and then lower them again. Friends are fickle and men are consistent (meaning they don’t change). And in most cases, whatever friendships you make over the years, you will be making most of the effort. You will put in more time and energy, more love and (sometimes) tears. And you will be mostly let down. But it is not all doom and gloom, after you hit a certain age, you will have found the 1 or maybe 2 people you can actually count on. They will invest into the friendship equally as much as you and you can call them up in the middle of the night even and they will have an ear.

I want to end off this letter by saying: you will be ok. Even when you are lonely, you miss home, or you could just do with a peanut butter and apricot jam sandwich, because it feels like the world around you is crumbling and you can’t breathe. Just remember that you will be ok. Many years after you leave High School and you have your own little family, even then remember: you will be ok.

Your older (nearly wiser) self



  1. Melissa Javan
    Apr 3, 2017

    Great advice to your younger self.

    • zee
      Apr 4, 2017

      Thanks Melissa
      Sometimes, I think it is so good to do this sort of thing. It actually helps put in focus your current situation and “see” it from the “outside” and therefore be able to work through it (that made sense in my head).

  2. Shameega
    Mar 7, 2017

    interesting read

    • zee
      Mar 7, 2017

      It was an interesting one to write 🙂

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